You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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