i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
