Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
