I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize