worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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