ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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