bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
