you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
