I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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