Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
