My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
