He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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