Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
