If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
