i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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