Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
