There is no way he is gay with that hair.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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