where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
