hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im six kinds of drunk right now
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
