its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize