No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We need to get me chipped asap
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