i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
