What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
