Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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