Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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