Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
