For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
