We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
