You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
