i barfeds in our rink
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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