he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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