You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
