It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
