meet me or not, i'm out of control
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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