Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
