he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
