Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
