I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
