That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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