K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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