oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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