Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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