sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
