I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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