onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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