thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
