so explain again why im purple
no
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
