Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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