Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
