apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
