i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
