GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
