dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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