He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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