I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
