get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
