I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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