The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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