I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
