You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
