I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
