he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
